But I think I should probably stop spamming my normal followers with details about how miserable I am because they definitely don’t care.
Okay so. As you’re probably aware, I’m twenty years old and JUST about to get braces. And this is kind of a big deal because my teeth are tragically, disgustingly, HORRENDOUSLY fucked up. And the orthodontist set the date of my next appointment for the end of this month, the one after that just a few days later.
But I was confused because they never told me when I was getting my extractions done, so I spent the past few weeks hoping the problem would just go away because calling people makes me really anxious, especially when I know I’m going to get a machine. Yesterday I had to spent a good deal of time working up the courage to make the call, and then it was done and I felt relieved.
Well they called me back this morning, leaving me a voicemail that essentially said oh, right, we wanted you to do those two weeks ago so everything has to be pushed back to fit your extractions in. I’m frustrated that they never made this clear in the first place, but whatever, it’s doable. Fine. Just a bit behind schedule, that’s all right.
So when my mom got home just a bit ago I told her about it, figuring that since she’s the one who has to drive me out there (it’s a forty-minute drive, since the clinic we go to is for people who are registered with a Native American tribe, and because we don’t have health insurance we get our stuff done in Salem for a huge, huge discount, like free eye exams and whatnot). But her response was basically that this is all my fault for not clearing it up sooner and calling so late in the day, and now she has to move her schedule around, etc.
I told her I’d just rather not call again because it’s really difficult for me (my anxiety makes it hard for me to even talk to store employees, let alone make calls, and in school I never asked for help because the thought of it made me panic). It really isn’t that I’m trying to shirk my responsibilities or anything; I’m just tired of having to keep myself from hyperventilating every time I pick up the phone to make the call.
It just seems unfair that she’s so unsympathetic about the issue. She’s dealt with anxiety and so have half the members of her family. But it’s just like when she was ignoring my problems with depression and trying to make it seem like it was because of something I was doing wrong. It really isn’t fair and it would be nice if she would at least be a little understanding rather than acting like I’m being unreasonable.
I know I’m whining but god, it just sucks. The longer I put this off the more complicated it’s going to become and the longer I have to keep looking like a circus freakshow. :/
